13 January 2018

I think 2018 might be a woman

Scarf & Necklace from Risha // Watch from Daniel Wellington

The year started with a resolution list that requires me to get into a university and find and join a women boxing club. The resolution also says that if I can't find a boxing club I'm free to start one on my own. Pretty flexible, isn't it? And as the tradition goes, I was also to choose a word for 2018. I chose "unconcerned". This word might not mean so much to most of you out there, probably because its literal meaning has nothing to do with why I want to have it this year.

Quoting the start of a book that's strangely super close to my heart, The Girl Who Takes An Eye For An Eye. Its part I, titled The Dragon, says:
Sten Sture the Elder had a statue put up in 1489, to celebrate his victory over the King of Denmark at the Battle of Brunkeberg. 
The statue – which stands in Storkyrkan, the cathedral in Stockholm – is of St George on horseback, his sword raised. Beneath him lies a dying dragon.
Next to them stands a woman in Burgundian attire. She is the maiden being saved by the knight in this dramatic scene and is thought to be modeled on Sten Sture the Elder’s wife, Ingeborg Åkesdotter.
The maiden’s expression is strangely unconcerned.

I just couldn't let go of the last word. I want to learn to be unconcerned, about things that don't matter, shouldn't matter. This year, I want my attention span to be strictly limited to the most important things only. 
This year's first week brought a LOT of things along, most of them were my firsts. Like catching a flight to Lahore, a city I'm in complete awe of, with my twin and then missing the return night flight only to explore Lahore a little in the morning. Then on my way back to home, I saw a couple of people washing a goddamn bank. Literally, the whole building was being rubbed with mops and soap and water. I realized I always wondered how a bank looks so clean unlike other buildings of my city, even from outside, it was almost a mystery. Well, it's not a mystery anymore. A bank is clean because they wash the whole building from outside. I also bought bubblegum and band-aids in bulk. I have a feeling that I'm going to need them a lot for super important reasons. 

I named this blog post after a feeling. From what I've felt so far, the year 2018 has motherly instincts. A raging mother, absolutely mad at her kids mother, if I'm being honest. January has been wild for me, I'm ready to leave every old thing, every history behind and build a new world from the scratch. All I need is to take one step ahead, I hope I'll take that soon.

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