31 October 2016

a sycophantic, prophetic, socratic junkie wannabe

I've always been a fan of loving things that feel bigger than my whole existence. This is what fangirling means to me. It helps me to find a link to a creative force that's way more powerful than anything else in my world. There are days when I'm a better fangirl than anything else that I do. I don't mind that.

In year 2011, One Direction was the hottest boyband and I was the worst high school student. Along with it, came other emotional issues. It was quite a match: a high school student finding ways to get out of the miseries brought by school and people through falling for a boyband. Almost classical. That was me. One Direction, particularly Zayn, was my one true escape. And internet helped me in all possible ways to be a better fangirl everyday. I once almost made my mind to start writing fanfics for 1D boys, I didn't do it though. I also lost a few friends?!?!? because I couldn't stand if you insulted my boys. Never target Zayn, of course. Never do that. He's precious. 2011 Areeba was one overreacting piece of crap.

In year 2016, nevermind we're still in 2016, I found the boyband that was going to save my sorry ass, The 1975. Matty Healy from The 1975 was the insane artist and I was the want-to-be-mad-for-art human being. Oh how I romanticize the feeling of losing my mind but knowing my art, the archetype of your average art kid.

Initially, I was jealous of Matty's broken mind and then I fell in love with the songs he wrote. Matty, quite a tragedy in himself, describes himself as "A sycophantic, prophetic, Socratic junkie wannabe" in The Sound. He's also known as the pretentious piece of shit which I think doesn't hurt me much. I think all of us are pretentious pieces of shit, trying to figure out what to do with our art/lives. 

And Matty, along with all the controversies about his work being a copy of others or other horrible things, is my most favorite atm. To me, he doesn't feel like the fancy star who's too shiny that it becomes scary at some point. He's an artist to me, an insane one, his work matters. He isn't relatable, for I have never lost my mind or developed a drug addiction. But he's important to me, one very important emo lord. I printed a picture of him, slipped it into a frame and was content enough to accept that I actually did this. A framed picture of a junkie wannabe to keep with me forever.

Fangirl, forever.


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18 October 2016

things you would do for your art journal

Last year in December, I started taking my art journaling very seriously. And in the next few weeks, it turned into a crazy obsession/habit/my magical power. Imagine putting together trash and making it look like art - things I initially put in my art journals were wrappers, bill receipts, bank slips, old newspaper, pages from books I wanted to burn, gift paper nobody wanted to use, paint cards I found in my nanna's cupboard etc.

And here we are today, after almost a year with god knows how many pages done, I've become a 200% art journal person with more journals than I can handle. When I first started doing it, I thought I was the worst and my art journals were trash. It still might be the case but I'm actually very happy with how this whole art journaling thing has turned out, along with my little #ohjournaletc project.

And just a few days ago, I did something I'm quite proud of?!?!?! I went out, found a printing shop and got some pictures printed of all the stars I'm utterly obsessed with. Presenting my obsessions in printing form, the paper versions of Matty, Zayn, Lorde and young Johnny Depp (with killer cheekbones fyi) 

I knew it was going to be hella awkward, going to a printing shop to get all these faces (also tattoos) printed. I was secretly hoping that the person printing them wouldn't judge me for my choices in men?!!?!  I also hoped that the printing guy didn't know any of them, for Matty is a self-claimed emo lord with a broken mind and zayn is a moody bastard and johnny is 50+ now and lorde is considered satanic and that makes my position even more awkward. But I had to do it, I had to do it for my art journal because I was running out of inspiration and ideas and my mind was filling up with new things to fangirl every new day. So I decided to mix these two tragedies together. What's bad for your mind is probably v good for your art journal.

So I did it. I got them printed and they'll soon be in my art journal (I HAVE STARTED ALREADY)

My insane, blue boy Matty

The graceful/graceless Zayn 

My most favorite Johnny/Winona picture together // Matty in a bow tie was a rare/cute moment

Bloody Matty when punched in Somebody Else's video // Matty being himself



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14 October 2016

for the youth

 Youth is a goddamn magical thing. You feel like you can manipulate time, misguide your acne, trick your sleep, cut your hair and everything will be alright. And being a young person in 2016 is a personal hell sometimes, people expect you to change the world. My world, your world, our world. They'd write speeches about us, how the youth of the country is going to build the future how youth is going to fight the evil how youth is going to clean the mess you started. Everything glorious. The youth in government paid ads on tv is shiny, with perfectly combed hair and perfect clothes on, reading history books even though they might feel disgusted inside about the screwed up history we have.

But what happens to the youth that doesn't want to change your world or fight the evil. The youth with broken minds or broken homes or not-perfect smiles are still there, sometimes claiming the spaces around. I can see them, all of them. Some of them carrying their existence and their hair gracelessly.The sun doesn't shine inside their heads. The stars don't walk on their skins. They're not a goddamn sky. They're humans. Tired struggling humans with a mind full of imagination. Their skins tattooed with the maps of the cities they have to go and see one day. They're not inventing things to save the country but to save themselves and others like them. My young insane artists of the future, the future we are not sure about.

And this is the type of youth I want to talk about, I want to write more about them, maybe because I don't even know which side I am from and I need to clarify that to myself. Am I the trash trash trash art kid or the graceful worried young artist? Or maybe a hybrid of them? Maybe this isn't something for me or anyone to decide, you just fall into a category without knowing or mix into both of them  silently.

I really really really want to read more books about young adults that are not in love but making art and trying to be visible. It's a whole new world for me, trying to see the youth from another perspective I never knew was possible for me. It's just a start of another journey I have no bloody idea about, I am just on it with all of my willingness. Not that I don't want to save this world but I have some other things to take care of first.

For the youth I can see blooming in the weirdest possible ways.

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5 October 2016

#OhJournalEtc - October

I've been thinking a lot about time. Time is not a horrible thing but it doesn't walk gracefully. It stumbles, takes wrong turns and slips like a lost drunk. And you have to be the person to handle it, reach it before it would slip down and take you with it. 
-note to myself
September was a terrible mixture of emotions. For one moment, I was the most content person on Earth and the next moment I was hurting myself with the thoughts of all possible things that can ruin my life at some point. I was a pudding of emotions. I created a lot of art, wrote a few short stories I don't know what to do with them, got some bomb dot com emails that might are going to change my life completely (I can't wait to tell you guys about it but gotta wait, DAMN) and took first steps to be a slightly better person. I'm a work in progress.
And here we are, already entered October. Let's romanticize fall. Also, prepare your art journals because October's #OhJournalEtc prompts are here -

Week 1 - living in ruins of a palace within my dreams 
(Lyric from Lorde's song Team, this lyric perfectly captures the imagination of youth of our generation and can be the perfect fit for your art cravings)

Week 2 - Sound
(Can be a song, poem, playlist etc - sound of your choice)

Week 3 - Secret
(DON'T KEEP IT A SECRET, TURN IT INTO ART. Do it for your art journal)

Week 4 - Light
(I've always seen light as a medium of hope. Lights will guide you home. Make something that reflects your hope and how you see light)
And for September's #OhJournalEtc, here's a throwback.
A photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on

A photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on

Current Emotional State
A photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on
Use these prompts when you are art journalling and tag them wth #OhJournalEtc on instagram so that I can see your entries. Trust me it brightens up my day to see your amazing art journals.
I'd say it again, art journalling is more therapeutic than a contest of keeping the most beautiful journal. Do it for yourself, do it for your sanity, do it because you want to do it. 
Hoping to see your entries this October!

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