26 May 2016
16 May 2016
This past week, so many different people tried to tell me the same useless yet important thing: Child, be a good thing.
And it surely pisses me off.
I have exams to emotionally hurt me, I have dreams that are way too expensive for me, I have poems to write & a zine to publish - I don't have time to be any bloody thing.
Well, what actually happened is that I tried to return to a home which wasn't a building at all but it wasn't there where I left it and it made me very very very angry.
In my imagination, my world was imperfectly normal. The kind of normal which is peaceful and I didn't have to worry about waking up early or late and I was aware of the fact that whenever I needed to feel like going back home, I can always go back. But holy crap, one day the home wasn't there for me anymore and it disturbed my entire existence.
And it made me feel haunted and grown up. Because now, I will have to find a way to be my own home and a person at the same time.
This shit is scary, trying to find a home in your own self. It's worth it in all possible ways but it's scary. It terrifies the hell out of me when I think that I am finally letting my favorite human beings go and starting all over. I wrote about it and it felt great and I'm trying to keep the balance but I'm just a kid who sometimes needs emotional support from internet & life looks hard at some point but I'm hella sure I'm going to make it. I'm going to be 19 soon and I'll laugh how pathetic things were when I was an 18 years old troubled person who just wanted to romanticize people and she wasn't even good at it.
I'm learning to be a home, my very own home so that I won't have to find it in other people who would want to leave at some point and I wouldn't be able to stop them.
Be your own home, sweetheart.
11 May 2016
There are so many things going inside my head. And I need to pour them out on internet.
Yesterday, Azealia Banks attacked at Zayn Malik on twitter. Celebrity fights are all fun and games until it turns offensive, not just to the targeted celebrity but to other people as well. She called him a curry scented bitch (& other v creatively offensive + racist things as well) but this hit the whole South Asian community. And then, desi twitter exploded. All of us tweeted our most glorious photographs under the hashtag #curryscentedbitch because we're hella gorgeous and our curry is the tastiest and we're proud of it and Azealia needed to see it. If she thinks that calling Zayn a curry scented Paki guy who was put into One Direction as a token of attention only would make her feel better about herself. she is out of her senses & needs help.
And above are my favorite desi women on internet.
As exams are coming near, all I want is to spend my money on food and read more mystery novels while eating, go outside more, buy new plants and party. I think there's a disco ball stuck in my head, clearly misguiding me. This happens ever year, this is how I casually welcome my exams: by not studying until I HAVE to.
I'm obsessed with Bajirao Mastani. I had an idea that this film is going to disturb all of my emotions and then stay in my mind for a long long long time and it happened. All I can think about is that how can people still fall in love? How can someone not see that even we have developed everything, this version of our world in 2016 is so boring. Not that I want to go back (I'm extremely happy with my life in 21st century) but back in time, culture ran in peoples' blood and it was so glorious. Also, it really annoys me that why don't we dress like the old times anymore? I'd kill for Mastani's wardrobe.
Deewani Mastani is on repeat.
7 May 2016
4 May 2016
It's May, it's May, it's May and it's the month which is supposed to freak me out because exams and summer. But I'm so calm it should scare me. I've started writing poetry again, working on my youtube channel which has gained 100+ subscribers already and spending more time creating stuff that makes me feel fierce.
And I'm back with #ohjournaletc. The creative little community on instagram under the hashtag has been giving me so much energy, each entry gives me more power to make more art.
This month's prompts are:
-What's on your mind
For each prompt, think of link that connects you and the given prompt through art. For fictional character, think of all the characters you once felt an emotional touch with, characters that made you feel something and turn it into art.
What's on your mind is my favorite. I like turning my thoughts into art because it's easier and it makes me feel lighter. And I'm sure Ocean would bring all the feels for water and sand in me. Tides would call my name again and I'd be happily art journaling about it.
Today is #unfairandlovely day, a time to celebrate dark skins. Skin is mainly to celebrate your skin, your skin stories and art related it. I'm really excited for it because it's one topic I feel extremely attracted to. I have a troubled skin and I LOVE talking about it. Let's make art on it too.
Make art on the given prompts, post it with the hashtag #ohjournaletc on your instagram and explore others' entries. SNEAK INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S JOURNAL.
Last month's throwback.
A photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on
I know I know I'm v late for #ohjournaletc's etymology but ta da here it is. Areeba means wise, someone who is good at stuff (WOW DASSS SO ME)A photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on
A photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on
maybe the worst heartbreak is when you can't go back to everything that feels like home || #ohjournaletcA photo posted by Areeba Siddique (@ohareeba) on
I hope to see more journal entries, guys. Let me know if you're up for it. Let's make art together!
1 May 2016
|Poetry by Rupi Kaur || my own picture|