27 April 2016

Words from books I'll never write pt2

I have a notebook which I use solely for writings. Good or bad, everything goes in there. Last month I gave it a wanderlust inspired cover but it's not just about wanderlust. It's all about what's going inside my head. And I've decided to share some of my writings again.

The first time I wrote a post like this, it was like:
Dear readers, this blog is my safe heaven where I can try things, fail things, not-fail things and succeed a little, be happy, create content that makes a difference. So I'm trying one more thing here, I'm trying to write more, imagine more, be a little more than what I already am. So, this is a new post series, will be posted weekly/monthly/whenever I'm done writing something. I am not good at sketching characters or writing anything at all that makes perfect sense but look I'm trying. This post series is a sign of trying. These are incomplete, improper & totally raw scenes from my mind that I want you all to read. Let's give it a go and stay with me.

Finally, this thing has a second edition.

"I kept staring the the window. It was morning outside. I am grateful for the white curtains in my room. They're one a few finest things I could afford. The room lacks fine things. I look at the fine white walls and they stare back at me. I feel like they're complaining, asking me to get out and replace myself with a fine girl who knows what life is, where to place a mirror in this room, what colored bed sheet would go with these walls and bed, things like that etc. I try to tell them that I'm not the girl who would make these white walls a better shade of white. They don't listen to me. I want to tell them that white scares me and I hope one day I wake up and find the whiteness gone. I don't care what the color of these walls would turn into but let it be not white, some shades of blue would work, like a sky in front of me, but for god's sake no white. White is not peace and it's not divine, white is emptiness and absence of everything that I've ever wanted to feel."
-Woman NOT in white


"I had thought he'd be ugly, maybe with some broken bones, a burning heart I could see, nose too long, all dressed in black, stepping into the room directly from hell. But he wasn't like that at all. He was young, attractive and all dressed in teal. I had realized he was made up of everything that embarrassed me. Remember grade 9 when I liked a guy and named him after teal color which was my favorite back then, the color comes from there. And attractive men annoy me for no particular reason.

 When I first met him, I expected him to laugh at me and talk in a way like villains do. But he sat in front of me and did the one thing that kills me, he didn't even look at me. THE BITCH WAS IGNORING ME. When he finally talked, he asked me about the paper I almost failed and even the talk of it gives me panic attacks. He clearly knew that I can't recall the memory without losing my senses at least once or twice. He's a dark creature for a reason, I thought. I never knew I was home to such darkness. I made tea, obviously for him, and coffee for me. I had a feeling that he liked everything I hated. Obviously, he was my very own demon, coming to meet me for our monthly meetings, ignoring me and drinking tea in my drawing room."
-Demon of my own

 GOD I LOVE WRITING SO MUCH. I know the writings are wicked and I'm not a "real writer" but I love to write and that's what this blog is all about. 


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