29 February 2016

when tumblr collides with culture

pakistani tumblr girl
Ajak has been my recent clothing crush, the absolute gorgeous printed shawl wrapped around me above. It's a v famous Sindhi blockprint shawls and has been a part of the Sindhi culture for thousands of years. It's just mind blowing that a piece of clothing can hold a lot of meaning in it. My favorite part about it, beside the symbolization of the culture, is that it's the colors in it have their own  part in ajrak's story.

Ajrak symbolizes the universe through the use of the its color. Red is for earth, black is for darkness, white is for clouds and blue is for the universe itself. You can totally pretend that the universe is hugging you when you're wrapping it around you.
pakistani tumblr girl
It's one of my most favorite pieces to wear. I can wear it with anything and it will be the same, beautiful and graceful as always.

My outfit is basically what happens when tumblr collides with culture. Tumblry aesthetics wrapped in ajrak, with a pop of denim and obv girl power. 
pakistani tumblr girl
It's truly satisfying to wear the culturaly appropriate clothing with a hint of coolness. It makes things less complicated when it comes to following trends. I don't wear jeans much, it makes me uncomfortable. But this jeans kurta I'm wearing is so comfy anyone can fall asleep in it cause too loose. And I'm a big fan of loose clothing, I can be modest and easily breathe in them.

pakistani tumblr
The main purpose of fashion is to celebrate the idea of dressing up. Make it easy for you. It's not a duty to follow it as it is, bend it whenever you feel like it. Break the mainstream rules. Let current trends bump into your culture and your outfits. 

What's your most favorite piece of clothing you own?

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27 February 2016

Halsey: Colors & Boys

Firstly, HAVE YOU GUYS WATCHED COLORS VIDEO? Halsey gave me a heart attack. Colors is one of the most beautiful song I've ever heard - Thanks to Halsey, she's what happens when art & madness meet music.

So the video came out and I had to blog about it for the sake of my inner fangirl. And because I'm emotionally attached to this song. 

I was reading the story behind colors on genius and it is that she sang the song about Matty from the band 1975. Their relationship was complicated, it's not clear if there was love but there was a connection. What I imagine is there was a crush, a crush she wanted to romanticize for the rest of her life. Some crushes are like that, golden. I remember I had this huge crush on a guy from school and I named him teal because it was my most favorite color back then, I loved the color so much that if my breath had a color, it'd be teal. I gave my most precious color to him, I could see him walking on the color in my head and the idiot never knew I was being so poetic about him. This is why I feel there's a connection between boys and feelings and colors. This is why I love this song so much. It connects me to the mystery that why the heck I gave my favorite color to him.

 Today's make up is a celebration in blue. I've always loved the idea of the liberation that comes with this color, it's in the sky and the waves are made up of this color, it preaches freedom. Though it felt slightly imappropriate romanticising this color, but I managed accept it. 

Here watch the video if you haven't already. I've watched it like 15 times by now.

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26 February 2016

Why do you blog?

The main reason I'm putting this picture on this post is that I love it so much. Look at me, totally looking like I'm a part of Makli graveyard, I fit like I'm a missing puzzle piece it needed. And the question which is the title of the post is another of my most favorite thing. When people ask me why I blog, I give them a long description of blah blah blah I love writing blah blah blah I found so many opportunities blah blah blah I learnt a lot etc. It's true that I love writing and blogging brought me so many opportunities and I learned a heck lot and I met so many amazing people, it's all true. But there still is a question: is that really why I blog?

Well, I figured it out. 

The answer is simpler than I thought it would be. I blog because it makes me feel important, It makes me feel like I can do, it makes me feel powerful, it gives me hope. If I can run a blog from a small town with just a wifi connection and bring change to myself and to a person or two, it's worth it. It helps me balance my creative energy, I can mix photos and drawings and words and make a blog post out of it. And it makes me feel good.

In this internet addicted times, I'm v glad I'm not wasting my time catfishing people or sending junk messages online. I'm putting my energy into a good thing, it's something I'd be proudly telling to my future kids: YOUR AMMA RULED THE INTERNET ONCE. I'll tell them yes babies I bragged a lot but I'll never stop loving this online kingdom I have right now. I'm a queen here, a queen that makes things possible, a queen that writes.

I have to ask the same question to you: Why do YOU blog? What's the reason? What keeps you going? Do you have a purpose? What does it makes you feel like?

I find it so interesting to find out what the reason/story behind your blog, this is why I have made it the theme of the net issue of my blog zine. Come and tell your story.
You can check out the previous issues here
Issue #1 (Relationship with your blog)
Issue #2 (My blog made me do it)
Issue #3 (Life of a Bloggurl)
Issue #4 (Blog post secrets)

I can't wait to see your responses, guys! You all fill me with so much hope and inspiration!
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24 February 2016

Dark Places - another Gillian Flynn book

Dark Places was the third book of Flynn that I read. And I found it slow paced. I was going to say something nasty about it but then its ending happened.

Welcome to another book review.

“The Days were a clan that mighta lived long
But Ben Day’s head got screwed on wrong
That boy craved dark Satan’s power
So he killed his family in one nasty hour
Little Michelle he strangled in the night
Then chopped up Debby: a bloody sight
Mother Patty he saved for last
Blew off her head with a shotgun blast
Baby Libby somehow survived
But to live through that ain’t much a life

The story is about Libby Day, the only survivor horrendous massacre happened 25 years ago. Her mother and two sisters were brutally killed, according to Libby's testimony, the murderer was Libby's older brother Ben, who was just 15, accused of being a Satan worshiper. Almost 25 years later of that accident, a 32-year old Libby runs out of money that had been donated to her by her well-wishers over all those years and now she is looking for a new source of income. She settles on helping the Kill Club, a group of people obsessed with notorious crimes & women who believe in Ben is innocent, to investigate the murders again, of course only to earn money.

When Libby starts investigating and reconnects with her jailed brother and father in order to solve a crime she believes has already been solved. But it's only a starting. There are so many things she is going to learn about the murders, about her family, and about her own self. And things will get creepy.

Here's some art I made for the book that goes v well for this week's #ohjournaletc

"I was not a lovable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."

Libby Day, is an ungrateful & unlovable adult who has no power to do anything. She stays in her bed, has nightmares, has a very low self-esteem and absolutely no motivation to do anything. At some point, I wanted to step into the words and shake her to tell her to wake up and do something. It was like watching a person wasting her life in front of my eyes and I couldn't do anything. I like the protagonists fierce, full of energy to make things possible. But her past was so horrible I forgave her.

“I am, I guess, depressed. I guess I've been depressed for about twenty-four years. I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen within my stunted, childish body - a Libby that's telling me to get up, do something, grow up, move on. But the meanness usually wins out.”

There are so many characters in the book and almost all of them are pathetic, utterly pathetic. You read about them and you realize your life is much better. The Day family is poor, the kind of poor that makes you feel bad about them. They're a farmer family with absolute no money, a weak mother and a drunk father. A brother accused of satanic worshipping

Day kids have an aunt Diane, a badass woman I really loved. She's the kind of aunt I'd like to be: strict, fun and a person who buys her nieces and nephews all kind of stuff they like.

The book is absolute dark, just like any other Gillian Flynn book. Darker than Gone Girl but less than Sharp Objects. It's a chilling crime story that messes up with your mind. Gillian knows how to take you to the point where you can believe you instincts and not believe them at the same time. She will do everything to make her characters bad but you will still not hate them but maybe sympathize with them and wish you could save a few of them.

And now let me talk about the ending of the book:
It's not a spoiler but a feeling. It made me feel like someone took my heart and crushed it. Like nasty kids crush a flower underneath their feet. It's TOTALLY unexpected and will surely make you question: WHY!?

Have you read this book? What was the last book you read?
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22 February 2016

Glory & Gore

I'm a big big big Lorde fan. She's amazing. Or maybe just saying that wouldn't do justice, I think of her as a person who helped me & shaped me in a person I am today. She is the modern age creative young witch woman with an attitude of a storm. This is what makes her songs the fiercest. This is what I'm going to talk about in this post, a firce song of her: glory & gore, my ultimate revenge song.

I've always been obsessed with the idea of revenge, the idea of finally destroying something/someone who did something real bad to me. I'm one of those people who remember, each little detail of things that made me feel something. The worst thing someone can make me feel is either fear or lesser about myself. And when I'm afraid or surrounded with darkest clouds of self doubt, I go mad & I fight. I fight with words and teen angst. And young women who fight back are rebels. We break rules.

Glory & gore revolves around sticking to your real self, rebelling against things to keep balance and being the fighter. 

Now we're in the ring
And we're coming for blood
I like to play this song in my head when the real life drama gets closer and I need to prepare myself to focus and be ready to attack. I become the warrior.

You could try and take us
But we're the gladiators
I love the idea of being the young fighter. My life revolves around self-discovery and new struggles everyday, being 18 never meant crazy partying careless teenager but a grown person with books to read, beautiful art to make, revenges to plot, breaking the real life rules with grace and not losing. And it's fun, it's wild and life gets rough sometimes but it's fun. 

Maroon is definitely the color of power & victory for me. I can totally go slay every problem in life in this outfit.

The current revenge I'm working on goes like: "Living well is the best revenge" (best quote, thx George Herbert )
It's a work in progress, it's going well, little by little, I'm lerning to live, I'm learning to live well.

What's your revenge song? Any Lorde fans here?

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20 February 2016

lost in a book

It's a bookish talk post as I realized I absolutely need to do one because almost all book talk on this blog is about reviews. The nerdy kid inside me wants to come out and have a word with you all. Also, my friend Jade tagged me in this lost in a book tag. 

1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading? 
Mostly in my room or in front patio if I'm free in the morning, the sun is always so bright in my town, it makes everything look so perfect, even a sucky book.

 2. Where do you like to read? 
I prefer something cozy like my room with my fairy lights on and absolute NO SOUND. Especially no talking, I hate when I'm reading and someone tries to start a conversation with me. You see the book? Don't talk.

3. Bookmark or random piece of paper? 
I'm a big fan of bookmarks. I mostly make them by myself.

4. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop at a chapter? 
It has to be a chapter or else it feels inappropriate, like breaking a rule or cheating on the book. The chapter deserves to be completed.

5. Do you eat or drink while reading? 
I need to eat something whenever I'm reading something. It's irritating when I'm reading and there's nothing for me to chew on. I keep toffees or corn close cos they're always so handy. This is something I adopted from my amma. Since I was a kid, I saw her reading big fat mystery novels, eating corns and telling me to ditch all genres and be a fan of mystery novels, so I became one.

6. E-reader or real book? 
There's nothing like a paperback, shiny paperbacks smelling of new paper and ink, a whole big world of words in my hands. But I'm usually out of paperbacks. So reading ebooks is my only choice, also they're easy. 

7. Music or television while reading? 
I prefer no sound while reading. And absolute no music. It's so distracting.

8. One book at a time or several at once? 
I'm currently reading two books at a once for the first time and it's going pretty well for me. Mornings for The Windmills of God by Sidney Sheldon & late night reading is for The Bride Wore Black by Cornell Woolrich.

9. Reading at home or everywhere? 
Literally everywhere. I even take books along to weddings or parties and read whenever I get a chance or I need to avoid a discussion or a certain person. Nobody disturbs an all dressed in fancy person reading a book.

10. Reading aloud or silently in your head? 
Just silently in my head.

11. Fiction or non-fiction?
200% fiction. I feel like I cannot read a non-fiction book, facts haunt me. I'm trying to gather all of my courage to read mein kampf, a biography of Adolf Hitler. 

12. Do you read ahead or skip pages?
I skip pages when I'm reading a book like modern romance, it's like breaking a BIG RULE but sometimes you gotta break a rule so you break the rule.

13. Break the spine or keep a book like new? 
I don't keep the book new. What's the point? I bought it so it has to be different from its newish look, definitely break the spine. 

14. Do you write in your books? 
YES!! I write and highlight on all of my books (text books, novels, any book) and this fact may scare some people but my books are tough, they have all the scars on them.

15. Your favorite book? 
These are my top 5 favorite books.
Abdullah: It's a religious book twisted in love & travel, written in Urdu.
Gone Girl: Because Amy was the perfect house wife, wasn't she?
Amarbail: A tale of supreme love (mainly a tragic love story which wasn't actually a love story)
The Bastard f Istanbul: I love the city of Istanbul and the story was heartbreakingly beautiful.
Sharp Objects: It's Gillian Flynn, what do you expect?

Add me on goodreads for my bookish adventures.

You're all tagged in this. 

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17 February 2016

modern romance - a book NOT for me

A truth - this book wasn't for me. I knew it but I ignored because I heard Aziz Ansari is funny. I thought it was just about tinder disasters. Or his own tinder disasters. But it's about dating science of 21st century. I hate science, v much.

I look funny here. Funnier than this book, please.

Basically, Aziz paired up with a sociologist Eric and did a BIG research project that included hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted from people of not just USA, but other countries as Japan, Qatar, Argentina etc. And they made this book - almost a do (s) & don't (s) of dating in the modern century with stories by common people.

What I regret most is that I have 0 interest in dating. I'm not a person who dates. In fact, I'm a person who will never do that. It's not a part of my culture. Dating is actually taken as an offensive and disrespected thing among my people. So my interest was so less in this book that it felt like a punishment to read this book. 

And if you're think: THEN WHY DID YOU PICK THIS BOOK??!!??  
Well, a good question. I like reading different and new perspective of things and the name was so modern I fell for it.

When I reading this book, I was shaking my head half of the time. Things in my culture are too wrapped in rules and terms when it comes to a relationship and I highly respect and adore that. This is how it works for me, I take relationships as a v personal thing. I don't see there can be "more options" when it comes to a relationship. You're with a person or you're not. My personal views were clashing with each and everything in this book, it started to get on my nerves. 

 And then I realized that this book is too American for me to handle.

But there were funny parts too. Like about Japan.

People are not getting married or starting families or being romantically involved with another person. You know why? Because they don't want to. Their government is trying to set them up with each other, their governors are throwing parties for couples to meet. They're offering money to their people just to get married and have kids. I laughed so bad on this. Japanese government reminded me Mrs. Benett from Pride & Prejudice, trying to set her daughters with gentlemen to be married. 

Trust me, Pakistani men would kill for this "pay for your marriage" option. 

I didn't like this book.
I'd rate it a 2.5 

Have you ever read a book that you didn't like? 

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16 February 2016

Bloglanders Issue #4

The 4th issue of bloglanders is late but finlly here. The theme was "blog post secrets" and here's our lovely little issue, wrapped with love and magic.

Next month's submissions guide post will be up v soon. Let me know if you'd like to submit anything. Now have a read and share this little creative bloggy project with your bloggy fraaaaaands!
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15 February 2016

Parenting & Fangirling

Meet my imaginary family.

I've always loved the idea of adopting pets, looking after them, caring for something that breaths and depends on me. Human kids are awfully hard to handle so it's not an option right now. After years of trying to convince my family for pets, they recently agreed on a parrot (I ASKED FOR A RABBIT) But then it scared me to death that a living thing that breathes and eats would be flying around my head and would become my responsibility. I might kill it, I casually forget to eat on my own if someone leaves me home alone so I cancelled my parrot idea. I have my plants to take care of.

I have 2 cactuses. I chose them because:
they're aesthetically pleasing
 don't require much of an effort, kids don't touch them
 they hurt if someone tries to kick them

The chin cactus - the one with red flower - is named Asi. Asi means Rebel in Turkish. But mainly, Asi is my MOST favorite character. Years back, there was A Turkish drama Asi, there was a brave & wild girl named Asi who was a free spirit. And she grew plants and rebelled and had a short temper.
 There she is.

The main reason of naming my plant after her is that she was a symbol of freedom for me, a person who made mistakes, accepted them and fixed them. I want to remember her forever. I want to keep that free spirit, wild thing vibe around me. A beautiful wild thing.

Here is the little guy: James Patrick March Junior.

James is a serial killer from Americn horror story hotel. I loved his character so much that I named my cactus after him and that's really a big deal for me.

It's my baby I can name it anything you don't get any part in my parenting.

But no seriously, I loved his character so much. He was terrible obviously as he was a serial killer and serial killers are supposed to kill people which is a horrible horrible horrible thing. But he was madness and creativity all mixed together. He turned his killing into his best work of art. And he loved his wife, the countess.
Also, I loved the way he talked. The accent was nice enough.

And my James Patrick March Junior's thorns are so deadly they might kill someone if I try hard to push them into someone's necks in the times of extreme needs. This does justice with the name actually.

I'm doing pretty great with my plants and I'll soon get more cactuses, I just wnt to have a nice family of deadly beautiful plants that need water once a week and I can name after all of my favorite fictional characters. DASSSS THE FANGIRLING TALKING.

Do you have any plants?

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13 February 2016

a never happy girl's guide to happiness

This post is going to be super motivational.

Let me introduce myself, a kind of introduction I didn't put on the about me page:
I'm usually unhappy with things, sometimes just in my mind, sometimes publicly. Complaining, complaining, complaining. I'm the kind of kid that rolls her eyes and makes remarks on things that get me into good troubles, v frequently. Not v nice, I know but this is how I am.

What is happiness? I think it's a v pleasant feeling that fixes everything. 

At first, I thought happiness can only come to you. Something you can't create, it has to be showered by god, you just gotta wait. But my theory went wrong at so many times that I had to fix it. Happiness can be created. I had read somewhere that making happy lists can help, a good sleep routine can help, controlled hormones can help but I never tried that. 

And I am v happy to announce that I've I found my secret/magical way to happiness.
I didn't sleep early and woke up early. I didn't make lists of anything and I absolutely have no control over hormonal changes & emotions. I just am trying to be more grateful and it's really working. 

Being grateful of all the little things is all you need to start doing more, I'm trying my best to do so. Just looking at my plants or staring at the peaceful blue sky is so soothing I instantly feel happy. It tickles, it makes me feel better and content. I had never thought being content would be the biggest blessing. I'm on a hunt for little blessings and make myself familiar with all the good things I'm surrounded with and remembering little miracles from my everyday life: like my broken charger started working and I was like DUDE YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY WHEN YOU'RE NOT BROKEN. This kind of silly little stuff. 

I still am complaining about things a lot, still making the same mistakes, still breaking rules I'm supposed to maintain but there's a difference, it might not be big enough but it is and I'm really glad that I'm finally working on something that makes me feel not just happy but content.

I just hope you feel happy with what you have, with all you have.

How you guys have been doing? How is life?

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10 February 2016

Why we wear what we wear

Stephanie asked me to write this post. Here I come with an official ootd post after weeks.

I'm wearing a typical outfit for Pakistani women. Layering is our specialty. Mainly, covering. This is what we do, we cover. We do fashion & styling but our main object is to cover. Covered in fashion, covered in bling bling, covered with freedom. This is the way fashion works according to my religion and culture and no, it's not suffocating. 

I grew up watching women around me dressed like the way I do. It's always shawls or scarves or dupattas around our heads & bodies, and our mothers gracefully wrapped in larger shawls. It's a symbol for respect for our womenhood. It's a product of Islam and Pakistani culture. 

This is mainly what I wear on most days. Just minus the turquoise upper cos I prefer less vibrant colors. I have a theory about vibrant colors, they don't suite me, I have a temper that doesn't go well with brightest colors. I like soft colors or darker shades of almost everything. White is saintly, I like wearing this color but I'm a person who get their cloths into trouble. Paint, mud (I keep plants) and grass in my case. White is a luxury or a treat yo self for me if casual. 

What's your why we wear what we wear story?
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9 February 2016

Newest nail color crush ft Kylie Jenner vibes

Nudes are my newest fave shades, they come with the perks of 
-being internet famous
-being matched with my to be gothic-minimalistic-tumblr-art kid lifestyle
 -giving away Kylie Jenner vibes

I found this nail color when I was out with my fam girls, each of us bursting with the happiness of being able to get ourselves a girls' walk round the city (WE WERE JUST A BUNCH OF FAMILY KIDS) We walked into a small make up shop & I found this unknown nail color which looked surprisingly good. I bought it, it's a big moment because make up is the last thing I buy from my v own money. I either get it for free or snatch it away from women in family. I've a feeling this post is turning slightly more about my family than I planned to.

Love love love the shade, I feel like I can buy 3 more bottles of the same nail color.

I'm not a big big big fan of Jenner, the three seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians freaked me out, but now their style & aesthetics are on point. This nail color reminds me of Kylie Jenner, so it's such an inspiring thing to look at my nails and be ready to do something such as moving my ass and work on a style I can actually stick to.

Another picture because I love the way these pictures have turned out.

Have you gotten any make up crush lately?
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5 February 2016

#ohjournaletc - February

#ojournletc started as 2016's first ever creative project with the collaboration of my friend Hawwa and the first month of it went FAB! Not just because I got to make pretty art on my journal for it but because it created a sense of community: youth of web made art together and it was the BEST. FEELING. EVER.

If you don't know what it is:

#OhJournalEtc is a creative art journalling prompts project. In collaboration with Hawwa, each month we are going to post four art journalling prompts on our blogs, and each week we are going to complete one of those ourselves and share them on our instagram accounts (with a monthly wrap-up post for each of the four prompts and our own art on our blogs, new prompts for next month will be announced in the wrap up post). We want to make art and inspire and we want you to do the same, so we're inviting you to join us. You can complete as many pages as you want based on the prompts we post and share them with hashtag #ohjournaletc on instagram for everyone to see your art. 

The name comes from our instagram handles. Ohareeba & hawwaetc and we both do art journalling so we're mixing our love for creating art together.

January's been one of the most creative month. I created a lot, both on paper and in my mind (hint: I daydreamed a lot) And while planning the prompts for February, all I thought was HOW FUN IT IS CAN YOU BELIEVE IT IS GROWING SO MUCH AREEBA!?!!

So, here comes the newest prompts for February:
Let the fangirl/fanboy inside you be free. Create something for your fave bands, tv shows, singers, imaginary people, let's celebrate our fandoms with art.



Make art for your fave fictional people, give them a reason to live in your art journal. Collect quotes and draw (I was secretly waiting for this topic to pop up in my life so that I can work on it)

Turn Lorde's singing powers into art, that's an open challenge. Fight and make art.
Just a note, this song is my ultimate revenge song. 


Here's the the glorious glorious glorious throwback. The prompts for January were 2016, blue, culture & an Eleanor and Park quote. Total 75 posts so far, instagram I love ya so much!




"Art wasn't supposed to look nice, it was supposed to make you feel somthing." (Eleanor and Park)

And, here are some of my fave entries from the creatives on instagram.

 I LOVE Mahnoor's doodles so much. Her entry for 2016.
 And here comes Osama's glorious art journal for blue, I was most excited to see what he comes up with the hashtag series because I totally love his artwork & aesthetics.
 My most fave entry for culture by Saira, the beautiful Pakistani cultural art.
This simple and the cutest entry by Jules for art.

Join us for #ohjournaletc and remember you don't need to made perfect art journal pages, just make art. Live by this: art isn't supposed to look nice; it's suppose to make you feel something.

I also made a button if you want to use and show it off!
Not Your Type

Read Hawwa's post here.

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