20 November 2015

Depressed Skin

I have a terrible dry skin, the kind of skin that behaves like paper in morning. It feels like it is depressed forever. Sometimes I expect it to crumble but thank god it's just in my imagination. As it's cold and dry, it's killing my skin. So I have to coat it with every kind of lotion that can keep up with my skin and make it happy. I want to spend the winters without broken skin so I have to keep a good skin routine. 

Nivea Body Cream
This cream is vv good. But it's TOO thick. If I apply a thick layer of it on my skin, it might suffocate. So I mix this liquid body lotion with it so it blends perfectly and becomes as almost thin as my skin would require. This mixture feels nice and I'm almost proud of myself for finding a way to keep using this Nivea, because I trust Nivea for winters.

Johnson's Baby Lotion
My beauty standards are higher than yours, yes with a baby lotion. As I said my skin needs to be happy with something very light and moisturizing at the same, I had to go back to Johnson's. It's everything I need for my face. I have a horrible habit of covering my face with loads of lotion when I'm extremely happy or sad or anxious. Basically, my skin needs moisturization when my emotional level is unbalanced.

 Beewax Lipbalm
This is a vvv simple homeopathic beewax lip balm and THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. I can go out without money or my gadgets but not without this lipbalm. And it becomes 200% more important in cold season because my lips need it like my lungs need oxygen, this is how I feel their chemistry is. I have at least 3 extra lip balms in stock just in case. And it protects my lips like nothing else, it is why I have given up on Nivea lip chapsticks.

Remember to moisturize your skin at least 3 times a day. And as I have to make wudu and rub off everything from my face 5 times a day so I have to repeat the process everytime. Have a happy happy happy skin!

How do you keep your skin healthy?
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16 November 2015

A Gray Season

First ever outfit post of the season. And second hijabi outfit. The season currently here is the lost child of winter, confused about its identity. It's cold but not cold enough to make me put on my jacket, not even a nice sweater but it's all okay to layer myself in lots of cloth and make up that will match the winterish vibes. 

Gray reminds me of cold nights & my favorite month December. I know it's November but it's not long when it will be December and the year will be over so we can talk about it. 2016, HOW ARE YOU SO CLOSE?

 Also, I think it's the color for state of emotional unavailability which is my favorite part of human behavior sometimes. Most of the time. Yes. The part when a living human being can't handle emotions and everything goes plain. Not even white or black, a simple shade of gray. It feels so peaceful and destructively empty.

So grey & white & dark make up would be my top colors for cold days like a cold heart ft cold memories. A color not warm. Not warm. Just like the season. A shaded gray season.


The rings on my hand are the most essential part of my life now. I don't know how I ended up being obsessed with them after taking these two from my nanna's jewelery box but they're v important now.

What are your top winter colors/make up?

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14 November 2015

My favorite lines from books || the words I love

I'm an avid reader, if you follow me on instagram, books make more appearance on my gallery than my face or my coffee or anything else. I just love words, bitter words, sweet words, words with meanings or the ones that make absolute no sense, words are important. So are books. I might end up writing at least one book before I die.

These words typed below are random words/proper quotes/dialogs from my random reads. All of these are not from my favorite books but some of them are. I just liked them and I think they're woth remembering. So, I compiled them in this post. Gone Girl is my MOST favorite book because broken and unusual characaters are my personal favorites. Also, I recently fell in love with The Book Thief. 

I am overachieving at aimlessness, I am a type-A, alpha-girl lollygagger, the leader of a gang of heartbroken kids, running wild across this lonely strip of amusements, each of us smarting from the betrayals of a loved one.

I am a thornbush, bristling from the overattention of my parents, and he is a man of a million little fatherly stab wounds, and my thorns fit perfectly into them.
-Gone Girl || Gillian Flynn

It is so demanding to be born into a house full of women, where everyone loves you so overwhelmingly that they end up suffocating with their love; a house where you, as the only child, have to be more mature than all the adults around.... But the problem is that they want me to become everything they themselves couldn't accomplish in life..... As a result, I had to work my butt off to fulfill all their dreams at the same time.
-The Bastard Istanbul | Elif Shafak

Little bits of words from The Book Thief (I have highlighted many random lines on my book because I don't want to lose those tiny lines that made me feel something for a moment in the middle of the night when I was reading under my fairylights)

The depressing pea soup and Rudy's hunger finally drove them to thievery.

You can't eat books, sweetheart. 

She was saying goodbye and she didn't even know it.
(This broke my heart)

I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.

She gave her a reason to write her own words, to see that words had also brought her to life.
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness, too. That was writing.
(This is one of my main motivation for writing)
-The Book Thief | Markus Zusak

We felt the imprisonment of being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together. We knew that the girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and that they knew everything about us though we couldn’t fathom them at all. We knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.
-The Virgin Suicides | Jeffrey Eugenides

If you don't know what to do with an answer, don't ask the question.

The center of the universe was neither in the east nor in the west. It was where one surrendered to love. Somnetimes it was where one buried a loved one.
The Architect's Apprentice | Elif Shafak

Friends come in all different shapes and sizes. The important thing is not what we look like, but the role we play in our best friend’s life. Friends choose certain friends because that’s the kind of company they are looking for at that specific time, not because they’re the correct height, age, or have the right hair color.
If You Could See Me Now | Cecelia Ahern

What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.

I always felt like you had to be important to have enemies.

If you don't imagine, nothing ever happens at all.
Paper Towns | John Green

Don't be like those people who believe in "positive thinking" and tell themselves that they're loved and strong and capable. You don't need to do that because you know it already. And when you doubt it — which happens, I think, quite often at this stage of evolution — do as I suggested. Instead of trying to prove that you're better than you think, just laugh. Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humor. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used to it. Now go back and meet all those people who think you know everything. Convince yourself that they're right, because we all know everything, it's merely a question of believing.
The Witch Of Portbello | Paulo Coelho

What are your favorite lines/quotes from books?
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12 November 2015

The sky was so dark I had to draw the stars

A few days ago and I was outside sitting on a wall and I saw sky changing color again. Things turning dark look beautiful at first, just like the sky and then it gets dark. And then people get lost in its darkness. I blame the small amount of stars when I can't see things and need light, I need more stars on my bare sky. If the sky isn't lighting more of them, I'll just draw some on mine. I want to live under a sky full of stars.

The lovechild of moon & sun, it'd look like something that I drew above. Beautiful like moon & fierce like sun. Now that's something I wish I could read a book about, does anything this exist? I would love to read, an affair at space ft stars and blackholes.

 Those stars, they have stories about all of us, written on the skin of the sky. The most shiny star is telling about the girl who won the battle against herself. And that tiny glittery star tells about the tiny baby who just opened his eyes. And sometimes, if you spot a dim star on the far away on the edge of the sky, it's of a human being who just got his heart broken.

It's my second photo diary on blog. I doodle when I'm happy and I doodle a lot when I'm sad. This is the thing with drawing, it keeps you busy and saves you at time. The sky is my favorite thing. It's a big big big canvas, ready to be painted if only one knows a way how to touch it and color it the way it deserves. I do it in my head, a teal sky with a lot of stars. It'd look beautiful.

Do you have any theories about your sky?
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10 November 2015

Bloglanders Issue #2

GUYS. Second issue of Bloglanders zine is up. This month's topic was "My blog made me do it" so this issue has a collection of drawings, words and stories. I'm utterly excited that you all are going to read this, I've always been a magazine editor in my head, sipping coffee in my glorious office and reading my own mag. But, well, things right now are like I'm sitting on my bed with my laptop making drawings for my blog zine under my fairy lights and coffee which is almost cold. Step by step, building and living a life that I've always wanted is magical and exciting at the same time.


If you're having trouble reading, read it here.

I hope you enjoyed reading it. You can also submit your work/art/words for next month's issue. Next topic is "The life of a bloggurl", come up with something and shoot me an email.

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3 November 2015

The Architect's Apprentice || My new favorite thing on paper

Elif Shafak is my newly found love, all her books that I have read so far (3 in total) are my everything. Remember the last time I blogged about her book ? I was emotionally wrecked. The Architect's Apprentice almost hurt me emotionally, at points because Shafak's words are harsh, painful and beautiful at the same time, but it also taught me stuff which matters. Really matters.

The story is about an Anatolian boy Jahan, who firstly entered the city as a mahout with his elephant Chota, pretending to be an indian. Things change, he falls in love with Sultan's daughter Mihrimah, comes across the Royal Chief Architect Sinan and becomes his apprentice. It's Jahan's journey in Ottomen empire era and tells stories of the city of Istanbul, the battles they fought and the buildings they raised. It's beautiful, heart breaking and historically rich.

I should let you know that this book isn't everything perfect, the other reviews that I had read before pointed out to many plot holes and Jahan's character. But the point is, I felt the story, I explored the Istanbul again, this time back in 16th centuary. I've said it before that Istanbul and Karachi sound same to me and I wish I could get to read about Karachi the same way Shafak tells about Istanbul. Both of the cities are connected to the ocean and to my heart. 

There's a part where the Sultan Suleiman told Jahan to pray for the dead soliders of enemy army.
"This man who had, throughout the forty-six years of his rule, relentlessly fought one war after another; who had ordered his brightest Grand Vizier and perhaps his only best friend to be killed; who had watched his oldest son being strangled, cused notherson to die of sorrow and arranged for a third to be murdered far away in Iran; who had  made himself the strongest of all the Ottoman sultans - this man had just said, in a field of dandelions and death, that in the end there was no difference between the solider inside and the solider outside the enemy stronghold, the Christian and the Muslim, leaving Jahan with a riddle that he would not solve for many years to come.

This is the thing about power, it's ugly and the wonderful thing. Ottomen empire was no different than the Mughal empire, the politically ruined, busy in their own power, leaving all values behind and using Religion to make or destroy the peace of the states and building gloirous buildings for dead people. This is what I hate most in the history, magnificient buildings for  dead people and people, poor people, who were alive lived worse than the deads. 

I love how the book portrayed how things worked in the biggest and most glorious empire worked, long with its dark and unfair features or the secrets everyone knew and still didn't talk about it.

Also, Istanbul had caged Jahan. 
If it werent for the love of Mihrimah and his loyalty to Sinan, he would have abndoned this city of broken bricks and burned wood.

There are gypsies in the stories who came to save Jahan's life more than once, the gypsies who were portrayed as jinxed back in time became Jahan's anchor. I love that part. 

If you don't know what to do with the answer, don't ask the question. 
-The gypsy Cheif Balaban


Have you read any of her books?

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