16 October 2015


Life changes are good. Until they take something away from you. Well, I feel like my writing's gone, really far.

The thing is, I feel like I can't write. Not counting those diary entries, secret letters or ranting. I used to write poems and stories and fanfics. I can't even think of random stuff to write about now, like those moments when I'd just open my cupboard and something will remind me of a day or a scent will make feel something and I'll just be like YEAH I CAN COMPOSE A POEM ON IT and mold my memory into words. Beautiful words. I'm losing touch with myself. And it is very sad.

It is not a common writer's block, it's the big bitch writing block. Maybe this is what moving away from the city you've always loved does to you. Or my mind is being lazy. Or it is on vacations (BUT IT ISN'T EVEN WINTER YET) Or maybe I'm just being ungrateful to those diary entries and not counting them under "real writing" and I should remember Anne Frank's diary is a famous book now. I hope the reference makes sense.

 Can you see this look on my face? This is what I want to look. I wish the ink would fill my eyes and turn gold because of my vision and everything only I can see. And when I would cry, it would go down on the paper and would turn into something glorious. Because I get frustrated when I can't write such lines which sound beautiful to me or at least make me feel something. Can I still call myself a writer? WAS I EVER ONE? Self doubt alert. SELF DOUBT ALERT.

I think this is the time I should start writing absurd things that don't talk back to me. Maybe I should just leave my words as they come out, no matter if they don't sound beautiful. Maybe it's just their wish to stay ugly to me to remind that beautiful or not, they're mine. 

I hope they come back to me or I find my way back to them. I'm happy in both ways.

All of us have done lil crazy stuff just because we had to BLOG about it. I've done the craziest looks that I never thought I'd be pulling off at ANY point of my life but I did because blaaahg. So write something your blog made you do, take a picture of it or you can even use old photographs, draw something and send them over to be a part of the zine next month!

If you haven't checked bloglanders issue #1, check it here.

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  1. Hay girl! It's like you were speaking to me, I swear, how do you do it?! I am going through a similar situation myself. As you know, we're staying with the mil (hopefully not to much longer! Fingers crossed!)but, I feel, in the time we left Missouri to come back to fl. I have changed into someone I don't recognize anymore, a cold, heartless person. Instead of the free spirit I used to be. I feel trapped and suffocated. I try not to let stuff get to me, but how many times a day can you loose who you are, you know? Question is, how do I find my way back to who I was? (Sorry for so long!)

  2. honestly, i love your blog and i flippin love the way you write and i love this x

  3. I feel this so much. I feel as if I've had writer's block for years - it's bad. Of course I can still write blog post, school papers, and an article now and then, but creative fiction? Nothing. In years. It breaks my heart, I don't feel like a writer anymore.

    Recently I read a book that said the difference between your passion being a hobby and a career is that it's easy to be creative when you're feeling creative - that makes it a hobby, but the key is being creative when you don't feel like being creative - that makes it work. Ever since I read that I've been making myself writer 500 words a day come hell or high water. Some days it's easy and some days it's a struggle, but I figure if you're a writer that's what you do, right?

    Btw stunning photos, cool & creative.


  4. You'll find a way back. Cos those who keep going never lose. Yeah, it's not the best time for a pep talk, BUT words and wording do work like that. Phew phew!

  5. Girl, you are so talented, I'm sure you are sick of hearing it already! :P It's not always easy to express yourself and words have stood me up a fair few times in the past too but drawing it out is such a cool idea though! ;) x

    Jadirah Sarmad | Jasmine Catches Butterflies ʚϊɞ


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