29 October 2015

Final goodbye to the summer

It's really cold outside, so many dead leaves and the songs of wind. People, summer has officially ended. And I am so happy about it. But it deserves a farewell no matter if I've waited whole year to be winter. It will be vv winter soon and I'll turn to all dark make up. Maroon, plum, purple and everything that matches the weather. 
So this post is the final goodbye to summer, with a few tropical shades on my eyes.

I got this gigantic palette with these palettebrushes & rings from LightInTheBox guys.

It's so pretty. So many colors, I feel rich.

I blended three types of green with silver and a lil golden above. It looks fresh and I felt like I should be dressing up as a mermaid. Green reminds me of ocean and it's the only place my heart wants to be 24 hours a day. The waves call my name, everyday.


 The shades.
It's summer on my face. Tho, it's no more around my heart.

How is the weather guys? All ready for winter make up?
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24 October 2015

Everything that ruined me emotionally

The trouble that I find with dealing with emotions, like a grown up person, is that they drive me crazy. Like very bad kind of crazy. I'd rather read a book and cry on the death of my favorite character than dealing with them but you know, this isn't how you live your life. You gotta do what you gotta do. So, you talk to yourself and make things easy. This is what life does to you when you grow up. Ta da.

Last last last month, I came across the reality that I made a few life decisions and they suck. This was motivating enough to roll up myself into my bed and sleep for weeks and regret everything in life. But obviously, I needed to eat and live online. So I didn't sleep for weeks and I drew a lot and turned my regrets into art. This is pretty much everything that kept me going. Art keeps you alive, I told you all once.

Also, my bad decisions included keeping myself at a distance from a few human beings who used to be the most important part of my life but accidentally threw me out of their lives. Well, I didn't stay away. Plus, I just revealed my imaginary love life to that one particular human being because I like doing that, I've always liked doing that, telling her everything about my life/crushes/imaginary life/online adventures. So, staying away and maintaining my (almost) imaginary grace was another failure. 

I realized my most favorite tv show is still months away. Teen wolf won't be coming back till 2016 god knows in which month and god knows if Derek Hale would make big entrance and only god knows how long I'm going to wait alive.

I also just realized that this post has been written in a vvvv low self esteem vibe. Don't worry, I'm okay. I'll be posting a glorious make up post soon and planning big things in life ft failures ft good books ft good human beings too. I hope you all are doing great.

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16 October 2015


Life changes are good. Until they take something away from you. Well, I feel like my writing's gone, really far.

The thing is, I feel like I can't write. Not counting those diary entries, secret letters or ranting. I used to write poems and stories and fanfics. I can't even think of random stuff to write about now, like those moments when I'd just open my cupboard and something will remind me of a day or a scent will make feel something and I'll just be like YEAH I CAN COMPOSE A POEM ON IT and mold my memory into words. Beautiful words. I'm losing touch with myself. And it is very sad.

It is not a common writer's block, it's the big bitch writing block. Maybe this is what moving away from the city you've always loved does to you. Or my mind is being lazy. Or it is on vacations (BUT IT ISN'T EVEN WINTER YET) Or maybe I'm just being ungrateful to those diary entries and not counting them under "real writing" and I should remember Anne Frank's diary is a famous book now. I hope the reference makes sense.

 Can you see this look on my face? This is what I want to look. I wish the ink would fill my eyes and turn gold because of my vision and everything only I can see. And when I would cry, it would go down on the paper and would turn into something glorious. Because I get frustrated when I can't write such lines which sound beautiful to me or at least make me feel something. Can I still call myself a writer? WAS I EVER ONE? Self doubt alert. SELF DOUBT ALERT.

I think this is the time I should start writing absurd things that don't talk back to me. Maybe I should just leave my words as they come out, no matter if they don't sound beautiful. Maybe it's just their wish to stay ugly to me to remind that beautiful or not, they're mine. 

I hope they come back to me or I find my way back to them. I'm happy in both ways.

All of us have done lil crazy stuff just because we had to BLOG about it. I've done the craziest looks that I never thought I'd be pulling off at ANY point of my life but I did because blaaahg. So write something your blog made you do, take a picture of it or you can even use old photographs, draw something and send them over to be a part of the zine next month!

If you haven't checked bloglanders issue #1, check it here.

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13 October 2015

Letters that will never be sent

I have started another notebook and finally got myself an aim to finish it. There are so many unfinished journals and notebooks buried inside my cupboard that never got a chance to be filled with ink and words and my untold stories. But, well, things are a little different now.

I'll be writing imaginary letters to almost imaginary people. In my notebook. 

This is all started because too many ghost memories and people that are too good to be real. And as it's already started, I don't mind filling pages with ink. Humans are wonderful to write about. Well, most of them are.

Obviously I'll be sharing lil pieces of those writings on this blog.

I met a complete stranger a few days ago and things are changing, awfully fast. It's weird and wonderful that one human being steps in your life for a very short time and everything changes. It's both positive and negative because it's making me upgrade myself + my life but at the same time I'm afraid of changes.

I lost a human being and that person was totally my everything just a few days ago. It's funny people come and go and leave this big big big void for you to handle. I like getting calls and tell about my day but of course nothing is same. It can never be.

A vvv typical person I don't like.

Writing's going pretty good. Sunshine's pretty good. Autumn's almost here. Things are getting very well. 

Do you write a notebook?

11 October 2015

Internet xoxo

I found internet a place where everything is unreal yet it's real at the same time. WTF BUT HOW AMAZING IS THAT? I spend a big part of my life online, I am a respected citizen of this big beautiful world of internet and I know how things work here, at least I think so. But people in real life with real jobs with the only social media they can run is a Facebook account don't, they can't because when you don't do it, you don't know it. 

Internet is basically like your meal plan. If you eat more junk, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO TURN INTO? A vvv weak person. If you eat healthy, your soul & skin both will radiate. This is the same with internet. Behave yourself and do good and have fun here. But if you are into bad stuff, I am 200% sure it's going to hurt you both online and offline. The thing is, internet is neither a good or bad place, it's just you. This is the main point, you can't step up and say that web is unhealthy. Dude, it's just you.

Well, I think internet has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. See, this blog and my social media accounts. Tumblr & instagram especially. I've come across amazing people through it, I 've created a life and lived the greatest moments just because I knew how to use it well for myself. Internet isn't toxic, it's 2015 and things aren't as they used to be in past. 

Just a week ago, one of the most glorious weekend happened.
An insta meet in Karachi. AT Frere Hall. WITH ALL THE AMAZING PEOPLE I SAW ON MY SCREEN.
4 October, 2015.

At Frere Hall, Karachi. The old British era buildings around us.

I've posted a couple of these on my instagram. The topic was #todayImet, to meet new instagrammers and kill the awkwardness by taking their portrait and talk.

I don't think that day could get any better, it was the most glorious weekend of 2015 so far. I met people who are amazing not just in taking photos but also with human interactions. You see people online and think they're too fab to be real and when they're in front of you, smiling or saying something vvv sweet, life become unreal itself. I've got the chance to live all those few hours with my instagram people and it turned out SO GOOD that I never imaginedined. 

Look, this is what internet does to you sometimes, it makes your life better.

Also, THANK YOU EVERYONE for appreciating the zine me & my bloggurls posted. Keep the submissions coming, I'll make a whole blog post about the guidelines for the next topic. If you haven't checked it yet, GO DO IT ASAP!

Your turn, what do YOU think of internet?
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8 October 2015

Bloglanders Issue #1

HEY EVERYONE NO I DIDN'T DIE I WAS JUST BEING HURT BY LIFE FOR PAST FEW WEEKS. This is the simplest reason why I haven't blogged for a week, it sounds terrible, vvvv terrible. But here's a good thing, FIRST EVER ISSUE OF MY BLOG ZINE.

Guyssssssss, here's Bloglanders issue #1. This month's topic was "Relationship With My Blog", thank you everyone who submitted. Shout out to Jacky, Fatima, Hawwa, Abbie, ShonazeeSeemal


Let me know do you all think! I would love to know your thoughts and ideas. Next month's theme is "My blog made me do it", submit your words, stories, art and topic related pieces over areebasiddique97@hotmail.com. 

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