11 June 2015

Amarbail - A zine about the person I can never hate

 For those who have no idea what Amarbail is, it's a novel who turned my emotions upside down and tore me down into 7 million pieces at the last page and now it's my MOST favorite novel on this planet and still I have to meet up with the novel writer and ask her WHAT DID YOU DO TO UMAR & ME ON THE LAST MOMENT?

Umar is the main character.
Me aka Areeba is the hurt reader.

I made a zine about it because:
1) It's DIY Creative club's topic of the month, Everything bookish.
2) I like to think about fictional characters and write for them and cry for them and hurt my eyes and pretend they're real.

Amar Bail is an Urdu word. it means a plant of eternity. Bail is actually ivy. So Amar bail is AMAR = Eternal & Bail = Ivy. Amarbail covers other plants and suck life and glee from them, kills them and grow. It's kind of cruel but that's how it grows without any help, hurts others and build itself. I had to explain this because, well, I just had to. This title means how the hearts of characters were under attack of Amarbail of love & woe.

I love this title, quite intense it is. The zine is based on a character Umar. God empower me to cover other characters too but the main "Amarbail" feeling comes from Umar Jahangir, the hero I have no idea how/why I love.

Umera Ahmed wrote at the very start of the novel that this novel of her is based on one character, a character we won't be able to hate even if we try to. We can't hate them and it's our mistake. But we WILL make this mistake.

Well, she was SO right.

 There were points in novel when I almost hated Umar and then the next thought inside my head was, uh no, not hating him right now.

Umar is not the I-am-the-angle-ish-hero type, he isn't the good guy type at all. Yet he was all I wanted to read in the novel. He did bad stuff and still I was supporting whatever he was doing. Though I just once whispered "Oh no Umar" to myself but that's all.

 Wow, I was never that typical sentimental before.

This word written above is "Ishq", it means Supreme Love. Usually ends up in tragedy/loss/everything sad that hurts.

I added it in zine because Umar loved our other main character Alizay (as reffered as her in above picture) SO MUCH that he sacrificed his own love for the sake of Alizay's good life. I mean, WHY DID HE HAS TO BE SO GOOD? Alizay loved him back, he wasn't  a family man, he let her go, he wanted her to be happy, he pushed her away because he knew he couldn't keep her happy. HE FRIGGIN LET ALIZAY GO BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THAT WAS LOVE.

Maybe he was right. Maybe love doesn't always mean to have the person. Love simply means the person you love to be happy. It's just this simple yet the hardest thing even to think about.

 His life included a screwed up past, intensity and restlessness that never let him settle down, his family was a country's one of the most powerful families, he was hurt, he loved, he never showed the world  what he's been through and in the end, the whole story changes,

Our bad bad bad guy is the good good good hero we all cried about.

Well, he dies.

UMERA AHMED KILLED UMAR IN THE END AND I WENT ALL NUMB. I had no idea what had happened right before the novel was ending, Alizay was trying to be fit into her life, trying to be happy, everyone trying to be happy, Umar living his own life, alone, joining police force AND SHE SIMPLY KILLED HIM ON LAST PAGES.

He's actually the bad character I can't hate.

Fangirl feels.


  1. I've always wanted to have a go at making a zine but have never got around to it! This is a great idea :) xx

  2. this is really cool and creative!

    danielle | avec danielle

  3. Don't you hate (but secretly love) wtf endings that you did not see coming? As long as the ending makes some sort of sense, I can vibe with it. But I seriously hate the random endings that make no sense and are just put in for dramatic effect (Divergent series I'm looking at you).


  4. This sounds like an interesting read. Is it in Urdu?

  5. You are so creative!! Id love to read it. You have me intrigued!

  6. HE DIES. YOU JUST SPOILED IT. hahahah it's ok I forgive you, is it in english? I want to read it! xx


Whoop! Your comment makes my day!