4 July 2014

I'm lost & found

March 2014, I completed my high school. It was our last day when I was thinking that today will be heavily clouded, raining with storm because that's how some of high schools and colleges end in tv and the class fellows and friends say bye in rain. How dramatic but this doesn't happen in real life. I guess it was pretty sunny day on our last day when girls of our class had planned a party. The truth about us, we girls were never united, teachers didn't like us much because we thought we were too awesome to listen to them and behave exactly like they wanted. Even on last day, there were only two teachers who came just to warn us for NOT making the silly noises that were our speciality. Girls were having an argument over food. Menu actually. But food finally came and we ate, sitting separately in our special categorized groups. When I sipped my Pepsi, it wasn't cold. It was YUKH WARM! It made Pepsi looking ugly to me. When food was done, we took out camera and took selfies. That kind of selfies that we knew aren't worth uploading on any social media. And started throwing powder paints (they were a kinda masterpiece in my paints collection) everywhere. The end of last day. Everybody was saying good-bye (s) while telling her plans for college life, majors & subjects & aims & plans. I was sitting in middle of them without ANY plan. No ideas, no thoughts about my upcoming THE GREAT UNKNOWN self (Thanks Rookie for the word) I came back. Last day meant LAST DAY, no-more-school, soon-to-be-a-big-kid-in-the-city.

Noor is going for accounting, she thinks she'll be a great banker of our times (yeah if only she can put up with Maths beast) That random girl from our class is going to take medical as major in college, I believe her biology skills. That another random girl from my class has aimed to be some kinda army officer, she's a brave brat! And I am not here, on this list of "girls making the plans." Where am I? Katie Herzig's song Lost & Found is my favorite. I kept listening to it, lost and found. I felt lost.


I was planning to take engineering as major in college. Fine, right? Actually not that fine. I'm not into engineering, it's out of my business. I thought of going there because kids who are good at studies, always take higher marks go there. Then people like them, be proud of them. But I reminded myself I don't like reading about machines. I like Arts, paints, colors, creativity, using my brain to make things pretty and people happy. But a thing alarmed, a logic, "Dumb people take Arts. Think Areeba, you're too smart to take Arts." That's what my cousin said to me, "Aren't you so smart?" pointing towards Arts as majors. I felt lost again. 

A few days ago, I was completely sure that I'm going for engineering, even that I don't like machines. I knew that my notes will get doodled. My artwork place will still be MY PLACE. My blog will lose attention. But hey, people will like me for my degrees and marks in subjects I DON'T LIKE. It went fine. 
But Noor, oh Noor said that Ree please don't. And a new friend (who has a really pretty blog) named Maham and I talked, about the things we LOVE passionately. She doesn't know how our few emails changed something inside me. And I think that's what my aunt Mesh told me so, Areeba don't towards the machines that you don't like. Go for Arts. And on the 1st June, I talked to my parents "the final talk" on what I EXACTLY want. I'm their kid, they know me well about my should-have (s) & shouldn't-have (s). And it worked. IT WORKED GUYS! I'm going to take Arts as major in college, I finally have an aim, an aim of studying Communication design in an Arts school. I'll be doing what I LOVE! I'm finally at the point where I can relax and make plans like other girls do, while listening to Katie Herzig & The Fault in Our Stars song by Troy Sivan. Because I'm finally found by my passion.

Psssst, today's the last day to sign up for Blogger Snail Mail exchange!

15 comments:

  1. YAY! Congrats on finding what you truly want to do. :)

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  2. I absolutely LOVE this post! You go girl!

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  3. Congratulations!
    be blessed! happy ramadhan month, bdw <3

    http://dearlabinadesign.blogspot.com/2014/07/life-printable-quotes-free-download.html#comment-form

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  4. congrats, I found myself in a similar position when I finished school, but went with what I wanted and absolutely love the path I chose at university!

    Kathleen @ Made In The 1990's.

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  5. I'm glad you finally decided on something you love! Because what's the point of furthering your education if you don't love what you're learning?!

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  6. Oh it's so great that you decided to do something you love and not what you think you should. Spending that much time on something you're not interested in wouldn't be fun. Doing something that makes you happy is the most important.

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  7. I can't wait to see how I have. and we should know when? Monday?

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  8. I'm happy for you that you'll be able to do something you love! It would be a lot harder to keep up if you didn't enjoy it. I finally graduated from high school too and even though it's only been two weeks I already feel like this huge empty void around me. In reality I can't wait to start university because I want to start that chapter, but I'll have to wait till the end of September for that. Meanwhile I'll just paddle along killing time in the next 3 months ...

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  9. Is it weird that my class sounds really similar to your class? Like with the groups and the teachers and the behaviour and everything??? I find it weird. To top it off, I'm in the same position as you are. I have yet the chance to convince my parents that I want to take Graphic Design and Multimedia, not Business in a uni I don't really like. I'm so happy for you! I'm glad you didn't give in to the decision of taking a major so far away from art and something you're not very passionate about.

    vagabondzombie.blogspot.com

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  10. Good luck with all your future plans and studies. :)
    I've also planned Business/Accounting like noor, however my math isn't that perfect as it should be. But ended up talking good grades and marks in every bad days like it was just magically happening. And if you ask me for my choise, I always enjoy and feel love to graphic designing. This is life girl and this how and what we end up to be. :)

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  11. How exciting! I remember picking my college major, and I definitely agree with Noor, go for what you love, otherwise you'll hate school the entire time

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  12. It would be a mistake to do anything but what makes you happy. I'm sure you would end up doing poorly in engineering because you would lack the interest in it.. I'm happy for you, that you're doing something you're passionate about. I'm starting school in September to become a regulation, certified pharmacy technician. It's what I chose recently for my job.. but I'm not passionate about pharmacy, that's for sure. I'm proud of you for not shying away from what you enjoy! Good on you Aree!

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  13. I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!! As I was reading down I kept thinking "omg please don't do engineering because you feel like you have to ahh" and I'm so so happy that you didn't. It is always the most important to pursue only what you love the most. Life is too short to clutter up with things that we don't like.

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  14. I'm proud of you. You have to go and do what you love. You could be a great engineer, but if your heart isn't there, you will never like it. I just read another bloggy friend's post recently about how she finished school for computer science and then hated her job. She ended up quitting and now is a writer.
    You've always been a creative person, and I think the arts suit you well. You will do great things, whatever you do.

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