14 February 2014

Tale of Online Dating: Don’t Give Up

Wow, it's 14 February at last and I don't want you to get bored with my "pizza and myself" stuff on Valentine's day so I have Jenn to guest post today. While I rest and complete eating my lunch, let's read her post. Hmmm might be useful!
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Hi everyone, I’m Jenn and I blog over at Thoughts, Rants and Art. I’m taking over Areeba’s blog today to discuss Online Dating.

While, I am not a professional matchmaker by any means I think Online Dating is worth a shot because it’s how I ended up meeting my husband. The whole process gave me some interesting life experiences. I also have some tips that this guy may not be for you just by glancing at his profile.

Here is a little backstory about my experiences.

When I first turned 18, my mom begged me to make a profile with a certain site. Not because I had a problem meeting men my own age but because she wanted me to meet guys off a certain faith (religion).

The only thing that ended up happening were men contacting me over twice my age.

All I heard was my Stepdad’s voice telling her “See, I told you that would happen,” over and over again. I deleted my profile but my roommate during my freshmen year of college convinced me to try it again so I could view her potential matches as well.

At age 19, I went on so many terrible dates.

* There was the Guy who my roommate referred to being attractive if you didn’t look at his face (so mean) who made it clear he only was interested because of my looks.

* The Guy who just finished his PhD who apparently was recently divorced who spent the entire date bashing his ex wife, ordering extra meat (to try to attack my vegetarianism) and even forgot my name while attempting to ask me out on the second date.

* The guy who seemed normal but basically alienated everyone in his life and had a nervous breakdown.

* The guy who insulted every interest I ever had, including my major in school by saying it was not a real profession and flung his knife at the dinner table while attempting to show me his sword skills.

* The guy who asked me if I had a “Tramp stamp” (more commonly known as a lower back tattoo) and attempted to lift up the back of my shirt to see.

Needless to say, I took a break from the nonsense for a while after these dates. I didn’t check my profile or inbox for a while and one point joined a different dating site.

At age 20, during my second year of college, I met a guy I was head over heels for who was just not that into me…7 months later. I moved on because life goes on and he clearly wasn’t meant for me.

I re-checked my old dating profile and noticed a guy that had been viewing my profile. On a whim, I messaged him. We were together for my 3rd and 4th years of college, we broke up when I went to Grad School and ended up getting back together for another year and a half before calling it quits for good.

Moving back to the area I was from after Grad School, I made profiles on three sites that summer because I was ready to date again (early summer 2012). I had the worst luck with my paid subscription site, I received the creepiest messages from guys expecting something if I went to dinner with them.

Flash to August 2012, I received the most generic message from my now husband.

I like to joke about how simple it was. He said we seemed to have a lot of things in common and said, “How are you,” while also asking me if we could chat sometime.

I looked at his profile and I was completely intrigued, we were inseparable after our first date. We were engaged less than a year later and married right before a year of being together. We’re happy and just had our baby boy, Miles in early February.

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Now on to my tips to profile viewing…

I avoided the guy if I saw any of these things in an Online Dating Profile:

* Any trashing talking about their Ex. They are either not over their ex or could be overly emotional or easily angry.

* The Guy looking for Mrs.Right-Now not Mrs. Right. The guy that is just looking for a fun time, if you’re looking for something serious then why waste your time on him.

* Guys that admitted infidelity. Everyone makes mistakes but when glancing at a profile to get a first impression of someone, talking about constantly cheating on an ex is not something I want to discuss on a first date with you.

* Guys that have interest(s) that go against your morals. Avoid the confrontation.

* Guys who posted inappropriate photos. There was a guy who posed with a deer carcass and smeared it’s blood all over himself who messaged me. My profile clearly pointed out I was not into such things.

* Offensive usernames. Anything racist or in poor taste, thumbs down.

* Belittling Women. Sometimes it’s hard to tell in text if a guy is joking or if he really just is a pig.

* Guys whom only posted pictures of their material possessions but not themselves. I can understand not wanting to post a photo of yourself right away due to the dangers of the Internet but showing off your boat/car/horse/motorcycle shows you may be obsessed with your stuff.

If you are new to online dating, here are my Safety tips:

* On your profile that anyone that joins can view, never post your full name, your phone number or where you work. If you want to list your occupation, do so but maybe leave your place of employment out of it (especially if you live in a small town).

* When deciding to give out your number to a potential dater, there is no rush. Give out your information when you are ready to, not when you are pressured to do so.

* Meet your date in a very public place. It’s the Internet; this guy could not be who he says he is.

* Tell a friend where you’re going on your date and at what time. I would tell my roommate where I was going, the guy’s first name, what he looked like (If I saw a photo) and if she didn’t hear from me by a certain time to call the authorities. You never can be too safe.

* If you’re uncomfortable and/or feel unsafe leave. Develop an exit strategy…sometimes in TV dramas you see friends calling pretending to have emergencies, as terrible as this sounds…use this if you need to or simply cut the date short.

I could probably keep on writing away but I’m going to stop for now.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!
…And Single Ladies, take care of you and be patient in the wild world of Online Dating!

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You ladies, hope you enjoyed what Jenn just shared! Have you ever tried this? Do you have an online date story? I'd love to hear! And don't forget to link up for Bloglantine tomorrow! Show some love to your blog!


13 comments:

  1. Awh, that story just made my heart melt a little bit! Super cute, however I still don't know about online dating. I agree with you that it does give you more options:)

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  2. great post...
    happy valentines day
    xoxo

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  3. The are so many people who found their one through online dating. I also heard bad date stories and yours made me laugh!

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  4. Glad you enjoyed my post! Have an awesome Pizza-filled Valentine's Day Areeba! <3

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  5. It's a great post Jenn . Glad you shared your experiences , plus congo for baby boy :)

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  6. Great post, but I still would have loved to read more about our shared loved for pizza lol.

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  7. what online dating site do you use? I heard this app called okcupid haha it's hilarious

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  8. oh that was a great read! I did dabble with online dating a few yes back but it didn't really work out!
    You have such a beautiful blog here and I appreciate the effort you put into your posts. I surely will be coming regularly from now on. Keep such wonderful posts coming. xx
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  9. I laughed so much reading about all those creepy guys! Sorry she had to go through that.
    I met my husband through social media. I had "heard" of him through mutual friends. He messaged me on FB and asked me out on a date. We hit it off so well! Engaged within 3 months and married 3 months after that!
    Today-happily married and have two beautiful girls!

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  10. Bahahahah "The guy who asked me if I had a “Tramp stamp” (more commonly known as a lower back tattoo) and attempted to lift up the back of my shirt to see." EW EW EW!! What a creeper!

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  11. I actually enjoyed reading through this posting. Many thanks.
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