I've been blogging for a year now. Waking up in the morning, brainstorming to choose one topic to blog about and find the things that my readers can enjoy/relate. It's fun but it's hard. I've been sticking to "real" me and writing the true stuff that I actually have experienced. There are moments when I peek over other blogs and say to myself "If they can post this, why can't I?"
Yes. I'm afraid to post about some things. Although my motto is "I'm gonna blog about everything & anything" but on the other hands, I write some posts and then delete the whole stuff. Wondering if peeps would judge. But when I read Kym's post, I was overwhelmed!
In my mind, I have loads of posts to publish. But all of them are like drafts that I ain't keen to hit publish. All I want is to post the things that I was afraid to publish on my blog. I just patted my shoulder and told myself,
"C'mon Areeba, you're the boss of your own blog."
I've a different feeling about my blog. It's craziness or anything like this, if I don't post for 3 days, I curse myself and feel guilty. All I can see is that my blog is running successfully even after 5 years. And you all my readers, are the same lovely and appreciating. So today, you can read what's inside my head.
I have bad habits (that are actually BAD) I unintentionally hurt peeps around me. This sucks. I don't even notice and everything's done. My besties know that if I knew it's gonna hurt them, I wouldn't have done/say that.
I trust easily and when it's broken, I go nuts. I'd destroy each and everything in front of me (From glassware to lamps) and I would remember all the past incidents. I think a lot on this.
Last month, me & my twin sister got into serious fight and it seemed like we won't ever talk like sisters again. It remained for a week and it no one from us seemed to surrender. Both of us made mistakes and nobody was rose to accept that first. I typed a whole post about it & deleted it. On the 9th day, it all sorted out. It was painful not to talk with your sister, gaaaaaah!
I become seriously upset when my mum scolds me. I'm not a little girl anymore but when she's mad on me, it feel like it's world's end. I would do anything to make her normal again.
None of my plans go according to my plans. Every time, there's a mistake, a flaw. I feel like a mastermind but when it fails, the reality shows up ad I HATE IT!
I have extreme sensitivity issues. I feel & think a LOT! Sometimes it's not great to feel everything, sometimes you gotta ignore it!
I'm careless. And it's on serious notes. All the time, I'm just like NOBODY CARES NOBODY CARES.
I lose my mouth filter very often. I open my dirty dictionary and without looking further, I'd attack the person in front of me with my words. Sometimes it's fun sarcasm and sometimes it makes me vulnerable!
In the middle of some nights, I'd stay awake and think what's wrong with everyone! And the hell is wrong with me. What I'm doing? My decisions are unbearable! But I know I'll be okay in the morning.
Thanks to Kym for this post's idea! I'm seriously saying, don't judge too hard. I'm pretty cool for this *wink*
Go meet her!